Cesare's Cabinet

Proud Adjunct Member of the Rhipodon Society.

Almost Never

Updated 11/24/02, chapter eleven of Unison.

Updated 09/09/02, Eight Days a Week.

Updated 08/30/02, Sex.

Updated 08/13/02 with Gesture.

Updated 07/19/02 with Trial and Error.

Here's the story list for this series. Ratings vary for each story anywhere from PG to NC-17 for frank language and depictions of sexual activity between male characters. Click at your own risk.

Queer as Folk and all related characters and intellectual property are owned by Russell T. Davies, Channel 4, Red Productions, and probably scads of other people who aren't me.

"Almost Never" is a loose series of vignettes and stories that revolve around the relationship between Stuart and Vince. The stories are listed in chronological order, from 1984 to 2005.



New Planet.
Stuart's family moves to Manchester; he meets Vince at school.

Close. ( Rated NC-17. )
Stuart and Vince get a little too close over a copy of the Radio Times.

Laid Up. ( Rated R. )
Vince is sick, Stuart's had a new experience.

Trial and Error. ( NC-17 )
Stuart and Vince are falling into some familiar behaviors, and no small amount of trouble; Marie blackmails Stuart; Vince dates a girl.

Higher Learning.
The boys hit Canal Street; Stuart's planning to go to uni, but Vince isn't.

Breaking & Entering.
Stuart gets some first aid from Hazel.

Father Figure.
Stuart and Vince go shopping; Stuart's not fond of his dad; Vince needs a new job.

Tales Out of School. ( PG-13 )
Pub stories (with Alex, Dane, and Mark).

Stuart encounters workplace discrimination; he gets reparation with help from Vince, Romey and Lisa.

Chains. ( R )
One of Vince's disasters goes more wrong than usual.

Camptown Races.
A typical night out (with Alex and Dane).


Stuart's headed for New York on his own.


Ten Minutes. NEW
Stuart needs a boyfriend for ten minutes.


Eight Days a Week. ( R ) NEW
Stuart has a busy week.


Silver Screens.
Vince drags Stuart to see a movie; Stuart realizes he's starting to get older.

Video. ( NC-17 )
Vince tends to Stuart's flat in his absence, and comes across one of Stuart's homemade videos.

A friend of Vince's is in the hospital.


A Very Special Queer as Folk.
Hard to describe. Stuart & Vince through an original character's eyes. Not exactly part of the series. Check the intro for more of an explanation.


After this point, the stories dovetail with the actual TV series.

Stuart visits Romey and Alfred, alone.

Simple Gifts.
Stuart and Cameron plan Vince's birthday party.

Stuart's really not happy about this whole Cameron thing.

The following stories intersect with QaF2.

Magic Words.
"What does he say to them?" Vince finds out firsthand.

Escape Velocity.
Stuart and Vince leave everything else behind.


Hazel's Mailbox.
A few of Stuart's postcards and letter-margin doodles.

Gesture. ( NC-17 )
"Niagara Falls was strange enough, but Vince was *really* gobsmacked when he realised Stuart had called ahead and booked the honeymoon suite."

Sex. ( NC-17 )
Stuart takes stock of his new life with Vince.

48 States.
Lots of brief scenes & vignettes from the US road trip.

Unison. Updated 11/24
In progress. Five years after the conclusion of QaF2, Stuart and Vince are back in Manchester, trying to make a home together without settling down.


Unfamiliar with the original UK Queer as Folk? You're really missing something. You can find the series for sale at C1TV's website. Watch it. Seriously. There's so much to love.

If you want to read the stories and you haven't seen the shows yet, don't despair. This series starts long before the beginning of the TV show, and you can read much of it before you encounter any significant spoilers. Stories containing plot spoilers for Queer as Folk are clearly marked.

Want to know the story of the original? I've written a summary of the plot basics-- this will spoil the show for you somewhat, but I tried to leave as many twists and turns concealed as possible.

Or if you really want to know the whole skinny, there are complete recaps of each episode at Television Without Pity. If you read these, you're basically going to get every plot element and every significant line of dialogue. But they are quite entertaining whether or not you've seen the show.

For more QAF fanfic, check the recommendations.


Contact Cesare

Proud Adjunct Member of the Rhipodon Society.